Thursday, April 14, 2011

This Guy - First Edition

The ball season is now in swing for 2 weeks, the NHL playoffs kicked off last night, and the NBA playoffs are about to start. I figure it is about time I cover some topics briefly that are trending. Instead of going with my allerative term "trending topics" I went with a surprise because I am in a good mood today. I think I will call this segment “this guy” and see if it catches on. If you know the names of all of “these guys” – please feel free to name them all in the comments section or on facebook/twitter. The first to do so will win something fun pertaining to Sterling Shakers. No, you can’t be a writer here and participate you jerks.

The Red Sox are awful. Not even the people who predicted they won’t win the AL East (who are rarer than perfect March Madness brackets it seems) could predict they’d start this bad. Is it really early? Yes. Does this pose a long term problem for the club? Not entirely at all. If we need to revisit this topic again in June, they have problems then. Personally, I’m also shocked at how the “AL’s Best Rotation” (as dubbed by others) is shitting the bed, and Carl Crawford hasn’t done anything noteworthy. The talent will come around if it is really there, and there is no denying that it is. Boston is probably screaming for another series against the Yankees ASAP (it always brings out the best in them). Hey Sox fans, at least this guy isn’t your manager anymore.

The Rays are (by their record) slightly less awful. I would actually take, with good odds for you, pretty much any wager you want to make that the Red Sox finish with a better record than at least the Rays. That isn't what I am here to talk about. Manny Ramirez is the most famous quitter since this guy. I could have went so many ways (there were great baseball pics of him)– but the 45 NBA jersey was like “Really man?” Anyways, let’s not pretend Manny was at his prime like the first retirement of "that guy", or like Barry Sanders in 1999 (in case you're confused as to who "that guy" is - if so please play in traffic). He had a great second half 2 or 3 years ago with LA, but that was the last anyone saw of Manny's awesome bat. The fact is that if his 50 game suspension a few years back didn’t do it, this definitely put him on a lot of people’s S-lists for the history books. And with no explanation other than “I don’t wanna be suspended, or prove them wrong (cause I can't), so I quit.” Tell me you believe Manny just wasn’t in it for the money and personal gain any more and I have a bridge for sale.

The NY Rangers (it will be brief) are down 0-1 in their series against #1 ranked Washington. Ovechkin (read as: fuckfacedouchebag) and his mates outmatched the Rangers last night but still only won by an OT goal. I love the way this Rangers team plays defense, (think kamikaze style at the puck), and if Hank can be that solid in net, we have a great chance still to play upset to Washington. We just need to wake up the sticks and put some pucks in the net. Perhaps we can talk this guy into getting us his secret recipe to wake up his bats to use on the sticks. (character name please, not his real name).

Lastly, my Yankees are doing better than I pegged them to out of the gate. AJ is 3-0 through 2 and ½ really shaky outings – but we’ll take it. Our bullpen only completely imploded once (twice perhaps - your call) so far so I’m happy about that. I will not make many specific comments to avoid going on too too long, but I am happy and extremely excited for their pen all season. I hoped Russell Martin would contribute to the offense and he has so far. Tex, Posada, and Jeter are all seemingly without a hit again for their last 200 at bats (if you listen to the media - but they're struggling a bit at the dish). The pen with Logan being useless right now and Feliciano out for a bit longer has still held up okay - but we'll be better against lefties with everyone back in form and health. They've STILL managed to win games despite the individual struggles. The team is producing as a team. When things come around and really click, you have to love the way the team will look. I’m out, like this guy. (both names please)

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