It seems as all I do lately is complain about the NFL... Pro Bowl Edition

Well whoever schedules All Star Games really blew it. One weekend full of two ASG’s was enough to make the avid sports fan I am cringe. Does anyone actually watch these games anymore? It was cool as a kid because I had stacked my video game teams to match about 80% of the players that were playing and 20% of the guys I liked from my home teams I followed. Not a huge ESPN fan when I was 8-12, but still a video game and sports fan, I didn’t really know how a lot of these guys looked outside of my Sega Genesis. To be honest, I heard of some of these guys mostly because I knew a 99 overall rating was better than a 60, and I wanted to 99 on my team. All-Star time was the only time I got to see some of them play for real, unless they played against a NY team in the playoffs or made their sport’s finals. Mario Lemieux and Wayne Gretzky became real during the NHL ASG seeing them skate next to home town guys Messier and Graves. I saw guys like Ozzie Smith, Jeff Bagwell, Craig Biggio, and Mike Piazza play for the first time. I think Ozzie the first and last in 1996. Jason Kidd, Shawn Kemp, Shaq, Glen Rice, and “Penny” Hardaway were guys I remember seeing for the first time during an NBA all star game (1996 as well?). They were pretty much all on my Sega team for whichever horrible b-ball game I owned at the time.

However, I can’t really remember the pro bowl too well. Anyone not in the super bowl those years of my youth, or on the rosters of the Giants and Jets were missed. The pro bowl? I remember offense, like watching myself play the game on the Super Nintendo or something. It was like the defense was the computer on Rookie setting and the offense was throwing to Jerry Rice or Michael Irvin the whole time. Granted the NHL AS games get pretty offensive, but there’s only 10 guys and 2 goalies to watch at a time, almost half that of the NFL. It is a lot easier to spot your favorite players. Anyway, to be honest, the actual games aren’t what I remembered most about growing up. This would explain why the football version of an All Star Game (with a cutesy name like Pro Bowl) never stuck out. You know what did? The Quarterback Challenge when they used to have them. I remember looking for guys like Young and Aikman. Moon and Cunningham. Esiason and Favre. Elway and Testaverde. Marino and O'Donnell. Before I knew the names of all of the teams, I remember watching these QBs going through their skills competitions. What happened to that?! What was the NFL thinking shutting this down? Was it because Josh McCown won the last one? (This I researched a little bit - seems to be due to legal reasons but come on, the NFL has money and lawyers). I'm sure they just said "Nah, this game with no blitzing, no motioning on offense, no press coverage, and disallowed certain formations is good enough." LOOK AT THE OTHER ONES?! The NBA: 3 point contest, slam dunk contest. NHL: Fastest shot, breakaway challenge, accuracy challenges, fastest skaters. Even MLB has the Home Run Derby that everyone seems to love (I won’t rant about how the ASG deciding home field advantage is absolutely a fucking travesty to the game in this article, it will be 30 pages long).

Why can’t the NFL take a hint? No one will care about their Pro Bowl other than the offensive players (and the defensive and lineman for getting recognized at least). Actually, the game last night had me so enthralled, I was Googling what kind of humidifier to use if I want to put vodka in it and get drunk in a room of the size of my living room (still inconclusive if it is even possible ((or safe)) for those of you playing the home game). I think it is the only sport that should not have an actual game to play. The risk of getting seriously hurt in the sport does seem to be much higher than the other 3. I get these guys are grossly overpaid, and obviously the best on their teams. I do not want to see someone’s career end because of a game played for fun. I also don’t want to see a bunch of people standing around playing catch with wide receivers and running through holes that I may be able to hit for a few yards. Announce the rosters and honor the players somehow (press release to ESPN is fine). Even better - can’t we see a skills challenge or two or three come back? They just had goalies for the first time compete in the fastest skate competition in the NHL. Don’t you want to see if Devin Hester is really the fastest in the league? How about a foot race between Logan Mankins and Vince Wilfork for the slowest Patriot? They can have a lot of fun with this. Think outside the QB box.

COME ON NFL! Did you really think moving the game before the Super Bowl will get people to care? All you did was get it out of the way earlier for us. However, you gave analysts another platform to cover some more Super Bowl stories as well. Great, just when you thought they wouldn’t have enough time a week before the game to get it all rammed down our throat, they get another few hours to mix it in. Thankfully no one else was dumb enough to watch it like I did. They showed before halftime that they were prepping both Super Bowl QBs for an interview during halftime of the pro bowl. Guess what? I didn’t watch it. I turned it back on in the middle of the third quarter during the AFC’s attempt at a comeback from a 40+ point deficit at half. Great game. After the best weekend of the conference championships, we have to put up with this? Way to get me ready for the big one!

All in all, I am rambling myself out of a conclusion here, so I will wrap it up. NFL – take some tips from your other competition. Are you that much better than the other 3 to not need a gimmick for your All Stars? Take it from me: Give the people what they want – entertainment, not a crappy football game.

The Best Football Sunday of the Year is Nearly Upon Us

Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to be too cliché, but it is well speculated that the conference championship games are the best two games you will watch of football all season, including the Super Bowl. This year, at least on paper, it looks as if the games will back up that notion. The story lines of these teams this season, and the match ups that lie before us, are in the words of Marty McFly - pretty heavy. Let’s look at some of the storylines surrounding these games, and I’ll then give you my prediction to who we’ll see in Super Bowl XLV (45 for anyone who doesn’t speak roman).

Packers vs. Bears

The Bears seem to be the team that flew under everyone’s radar this season. With little preseason coverage as a good football team, they are definitely the sleeper still remaining. Their defense is no joke, and it looks like their linebacker core of Urlacher & Briggs are still as good, if not better, than they were when they beat the Saints in the NFC championship game a couple years ago. The addition of the amazingly talented Julius Peppers really solidified them in passing downs as a sack threat as well as a run stopping machine. Being at home at rugged Soldier Field will give their defense plenty of noise to back them up. Stopping the Packers passing and newly found ground games will prove to be a challenge, but the defense definitely has the talent to do it. They are probably the fastest unit out there of these 4 outstanding defenses. Just hope Jay Cutler doesn’t have one of those Rex Grossman impersonating games and they can be on the road to Dallas.

The Packers are a good football team all around. Okay, they’re pretty great. Aaron Rodgers is clearly the best quarterback left in the playoffs. He has the mobility to avoid the rush, the accuracy to pick apart a secondary, and the swagger to think he can win a ball game by any means necessary. They have the defensive player of the year from last season in Charles Woodson, and he may not even be the best cornerback on the team any more. Tramon Williams has made some huge picks this postseason. The defensive player of the year favorite for this season A.J. Hawk… um I mean Clay Matthews III, is a sack machine (don’t they look alike in their matching uniforms and long blonde hair?). With a QB who was knocked out against the Giants pass rush in the regular season (granted before offensive mad scientist Mike Martz revamped the protection schemes for Cutler) and is infamous for holding the ball too long at times, the Green Bay sack friendly defense may be ready to feast. Throwing under pressure for Cutler against that secondary may prove to be what decides this game.

This will also be a great game because of the pure hatred between the teams (more the fans) going back to Ditka’s playing days. No other story line necessary – two NFC North rivals, playing for a chance to go to Super Bowl XLV. The teams are familiar with each other of course, splitting the season series 1-1, winning at home. Both being cold weather teams (perhaps the coldest two in the league), this game has my expectations high for the best game I’ve seen all season. I love the Packers to win it, and as I said preseason to a select few who will back me up on this, win the Super Bowl.


Jets vs. Steelers

The Jets, easily the most hyped team in the NFL this season (due a lot to self promotion from players and T-Rex), have their shot to make the game Rex Ryan has predicted they’d win this year. I didn’t watch a second of Hard Knocks this season (different reasons than Tom Brady), but it definitely contributed to the national audience. Everyone now knows how much cockiness this team has. Now, after dynamite wins over the Colts and Pats on the road, and having beat the Steelers once already this season, you have to feel as if the Jets believe more than anyone that they are the best team left in the running. This goes a long, long way in football when talent can be so even here in the playoffs. Being that this is the team I’ve seen play the most of the four, I simply can’t get 100% behind them. Their offensive play calling is sometimes outright garbage (Wildcat run on third and 6 - kidding me?). They lack a consistent vertical arm like the other 3 QBs possess, even though they may have the most weapons. Does anyone think that Sanchez can make a throw on third and long like Ben NoMeansYesBerger did against the Ravens last weekend? If so, do you think Shotty lets him try? Sanchez definitely wins the great guy award, but it isn’t helping his long game. Then again, if the Jets can somehow run again on this Steelers defense, it can be a different breed of ball game than I expect. Their defense is one of the best in the league all around as well, and may have equal or better corners than Green Bay.

The Steelers were not without their own press, granted it is minimal in comparison. As I mentioned “Big Ben-doverthebathroomsink” had some offseason controversy to say the least. The Steelers were a favorite to win it all among seemingly the majority of sportscasters coming into the season. It is the same type of team under Mike Tomlin than it was under Bill Cowher: defensively minded and gritty. Troy Polamalu may be the best player left on the field. It really does seem that he is everywhere the ball goes. Whether he’s stopping the run, blitzing the QB, or making plays against the pass - the fact he wasn’t around to face the Jets the first time around is a bigger deal than you would think. Ben doesn’t make mistakes that hurt his team in key situations (unless the Jets sign a non-consenting drunk girl to play linebacker). He can throw all kinds of passes and even when hit is tough to put on the ground. The defense will not let the Jets run again. These teams seem built to play each other to a stand off.

Unfortunately, I do have to pick against the hometown Jets here, and say the Steelers will win this game. I am about half as sure of this prediction as my Packers one. I said the Jets would beat the Colts (but doubted myself severely and needed to pick an upset), said they’d lose to the Pats, and now still say they’re playing better than they are supposed to on offense. If you're superstitious, you want me to doubt them. If anyone watched as much of them as I did the last few weeks of the regular season, you have to be a little shocked they’re this far as well.

Well thats it today. I hope everyone enjoys their football this Sunday. I will be watching and expecting the best football played all year. I just hope each team brings it like I know they can and we see some great games.

Wild Card Weekend & Upcoming Matchups

Okay so “foot in mouth disease” still exists in my life. So, this is why they play the games. This is why watching 4 hours of pregame analysis before any game is time that would be better spent punching yourself in the face. Yet, I still tune in, actually most of us tune in, to get the scoop on the game coming up. It is the reason most of you are still tuned in to this blog other than “Mike made me read it and take a test on its content after.” While I try to limit how much I do this now, I did still find myself with nothing to do about an hour before the Eagles/Packers game, listening to Kurt, Terry, Howie, Michael and Jimmy making their picks with Frank Caliendo’s recorded antics.

Anyway, that was not much of an opening paragraph. I am trying to beat around the bush that I did not see the Seahawks coming anywhere near beating the Saints on Saturday. Not that the Saints have anything of a defense to write home about, but the Seahawks don’t have either side of the ball to speak highly of either. Matt “I’ve looked 45 since birth” Hasselbeck actually outplayed the Super Bowl MVP from last season at QB. He did this with far inferior receivers, banged up body, and lack of a winning record in the worst division in football. His team did this not any way the so called experts predicted they’d have to. I may not be an expert on television, but it doesn’t take one to make that prediction. Without knowing the Seahawks scored 47 combined in their last 3 regular season games, you knew their offense was pretty… well… not good. To go out and beat the Saints at their own game – the shootout – the long passes for scores (plus one bruising run from Lynch that will be on Chris Berman’s top 10 of the season for sure) sent a statement. This Seahawks team has nothing to lose. Written off by everyone in the sports world except the Seahawks themselves, they may at least feel like the most dangerous team that is playing this coming weekend. Lose and everyone expects it. It is what they are supposed to do. Win, and shock the sports watching nation.

So let’s review. The Chiefs lost as home to the Ravens, the Colts lost at home to the Jets, and the Eagles lost at home to the Packers. These are all clearly better teams than the people they played according to my article from last week. Their records were better and won on the road anyway. Kudos guys thanks for the help. As for the Saints? Playing in Seattle is notoriously a disadvantage to visiting teams. If they got the home game they deserved, would I have been 4 for 4? Who knows, it is moot anyway. I just want to say I am awesome and move on to this week’s games. I also figured I might as well post my picks here for the postseason so you don’t think I’m lying about who I had (yes, I picked the Jets to upset the Colts at home – they were due to figure out a banged up Colts team).
So, let’s talk about it then. Baltimore is at Pittsburgh first on Saturday. To me, this looks to be the most physical matchup of the four games, and again this is a no brainer. If you want to watch Berman tell you this, I’m sure he’s on repeat right now on some ESPN network. I really think when teams are in a dead lock like this, splitting their season series 1-1 with each team winning on the road, you usually give the nod to the home team. However, I think Ray “the murderer” Lewis and co. on defense may be a better overall unit, and the Ravens have more weapons to utilize on offense. The Ravens will just squeak out a win using their defense to beat an overrated Big Ben. The later game Saturday, Green Bay and Atlanta, features a team I picked pre-season to win the Super Bowl. I jumped on the Packers’ bandwagon then, and still think they can beat Atlanta at home. If the Saints can do it when it matters, look for the newfound rushing attack of Green Bay to make a huge difference in taking some pressure off Rodgers’ arm. Green Bay wins decisively. At 1:00PM Sunday, the Bears host the Seahawks. Can anyone really pick the hawks in this game? Chicago is a no joke defense that is a bit thin in the secondary. However, their overwhelming speed and ability to put guys in Hasselbeck’s face will be the difference maker that the Saints weren’t able to do. I can’t pick a team that after a postseason win is still just 8 and 9. I just hope Jay Cutler doesn’t forget which team to throw to as he can do from time to time.

Lastly, the main event for us on the east coast, the Jets will play the Pats at home. How do you pick against the Pats? Their quarterback forgot what an interception was. Their skill players are all smaller than the Starving Waiter but just seem to always find the holes or get open. Their defense is overachieving for a lot of mediocre players. Anyone on this team can beat you as long as Brady has the ball. Rex Ryan and his precious defense have their hands full. This will not be like playing the beat up Colts. With a week off, Brady and the Patriots will be foaming at the mouth, and you know coach Bill always gets some sick kind of jollies off beating the Jets. Jets will win this game if Tom Brady decides not to show up or gets hurt early. I hope I am wrong.

The 2011 NFL Playoffs

Happy New Year to everyone! I made two resolutions in reference to Sterling Shakers: 1) To post more frequently and keep our many readers engaged. I made this public last week and will do my best. 2) To attempt to limit my run-on sentences that add to my long windedness and frustrate some people that later on call me out on it to one or at most two per post (that’s one!). In all seriousness, I will better edit my writing to make it more readable, and to make myself seem like less of a ranting lunatic.

I cannot remember a time in my recent memory (meanwhile the NFL is not my specialty in terms of pre-1996 so I’m sure someone else can come close) where the playoff picture was this… strange. Yes, that is a good word for it... strange. I can't call it an abortion, say teams got raped, etc., because this is the nature of divisional play. I know Grau Geist and his wisdom to fix the MLB and NFL to perfection (i.e. making penalties reviewable and changing the MLB playoffs) is definitely more suited to write this. However, I hope my comments will simply get him going on this site again and he'll write a rebuttal or something.

The first order of business the NFL needs to deal with this offseason (other than a lockout?): A team with a losing record simply should not make the playoffs. The 7-9 Seattle Seahawks got an ever-so-painful to watch win last night against the St. Louis Rams. Charlie "Who's that? No really, who is that?" Whitehurst, making his second NFL start ever, was described as “almost perfect” by Michaels and Collinsworth in the booth. Now, while the Rams showed promise all season as a much better team than last season, they simply aren't the most equipped team either. For Whitehurst to complete 61% of his passes for under 200 yards and a touchdown does not deserve that kind of a compliment. He simply wasn’t bad enough to lose the game,and his defense held a one dimensional offense to no touchdowns so they won. More simply, the Seahawks second string quarterback beat a second rate team to get into the playoffs.

To put this in perspective, the 7 and 9 Seahawks are one of the 12 teams to make the playoffs. This is saying they are in the top 35.7% of teams in the NFL (12 of 32). However the following teams all missed the playoffs: Rams and Dolphins (both 7-9) had equal records to Seattle, Raiders and Jaguars finished 8 and 8, Chargers finished 9-7, and the Giants and Buccaneers finished 10-6. These are 7 other teams equal or better than the Seahawks when omitting division play. Take SOMETHING else into account here. Football doesn’t really allow for 1 game playoffs like Baseball could, but there are so many stats followed that could decide this rather than if you beat your horrible division. Strength of schedule? Net points? Hell I’d even settle for number of pro-bowlers on the roster! The real kicker is how this team will now play AT HOME against the Saints that went 11-5 in the first round of the playoffs. Just too much to be said about this. Let’s look at the good side - going off at 150 to 1 to win the Superbowl as of this morning, the Seahawks may be worth your $5 investment as noted by a friend of mine via facebook.

The Colts will host the Jets, the Chiefs host the Ravens, and the Seahawks the Saints. Why is this strange? The Jets had a better record than the Colts, the Ravens better than the Chiefs, and the Saints better than the Seahawks. The Eagles who host the Packers, are even with them at 10-6, however the Cheese head Packers beat the Dog loving Eagles in week 1 this season IN Philly. Simply switch the location for all of these wildcard playoff games and you’d get it right.

Those are my two main gripes. This is my favorite stat at season's end. Quiz time: Who had the best divisional record this year? If you guessed the 14-2 Patriots, you’d be wrong. While the Pats finished 5-1 in the AFC East (losing only to the Jets once), the 8 and 8 Oakland Raiders would be the correct answer. Going 6-0 in the AFC West, the Raiders become just the second team ever to go undefeated in their division and miss the playoffs. According to the NFL what you do in your division is absolutely insignificant unless you beat the same amount of other teams (but it doesn’t matter who) outside the division as someone else in your division. Congrats boys!

Screw it… I’m done. This is actually making me sorry I used the word "strange" before and not the acronym "FUBAR." This divisional way of seeding the playoff matchups is disgusting. Why play the other teams at all? All I know is that it is wrong for a 7 and 9 team who gave up 97 more points this year than they scored, to have a shot at the Super Bowl. You can argue the Saints were bestowed upon them a BYE week of sorts (anything can happen I know but come on!). Some of you may think I am just a bitter Giants fan, that at 10-6 we didn’t get in. This is not true. Giants lost to the Packers and lost to the Eagles twice. Under my psudo-rules that I didn’t even bother to outline of come up with, I’d leave them out of the picture too over those guys (Note: Just remembered the Giants pooped on the Seahawks in week 9, 41-7, so maybe they do deserve it). However the Buccaneers maybe deserve the nod more? I don’t even know because I think I read that they only beat one team with a winning record this year. I will not go check because it is moot. I know what team doesn't deserve it. Truth be told, I'd have been happier with any of the other 5 teams with better records taking their spot for any reason. I’m also not saying to get rid of divisions completely – the rivalries are awesome for the game – but someone much smarter than I am needs to fix this when there are at least 5 and perhaps 7 better teams sitting than one is in the playoffs.

Time to make penalties reviewable

If you watched that debacle of a Giants game yesterday, you probably felt like all the New York writers did: the Giants blew the game, with the Cowboys exploiting their mistakes. While this is generally true, one key call late in the game REALLY cost the Giants the game. I refer to the holding penalty that brought back a Giant touchdown that would have gotten the Giants within six. On the next play, Eli fumbled, and the rest is history. How BIG was that call? Enormous. And it was suspect, at best. The blocker had his arm around a guy's leg for a brief moment, but quickly let go.

In the 49ers game,in Overtime, an official threw a pass interference flag on a ball that was not catchable. The 49ers were set up, and quickly kicked the wining field goal.

It is hard enough in football to overcome your own mistakes, but it is even harder to overcome official penalty mistakes, because you have no recourse. You can ask for review of out of bonds, fumbles, and the like, but you can't ask to review an official's penalty call.

Game 1, Jets/Ravens this year. Joe Flacco throws a pass in the end zone. The Jet defender is looking back at the ball and is playing it. The official throws the flag. The Ravens go on to score the only touchdown of the game after getting the ball at the one. I never did see a replay of the play (I only saw it from my vantage point in the upper deck), but it looked like how I described it: two players with equal rights for the ball going for it.

Of course, some would argue that pass interference should just be a yardage, and not a spot of the foul penalty, as it is in college. I don't support this because the pass interference becomes a preferred weapon to prevent touchdowns. I'd gladly accept a pass interference call on a 50 yard pass if it will only cost me ten or fifteen yards. No, the answer is to make the penalty reviewable.

Tackling the NFL

Football is a brutal sport. We all know this to be true. The National Football League recently took steps to make it less so, but the fact remains that one of the main objectives of the sport is for one player to wrestle the player holding the ball to the ground. When I think of football in this way, as opposed to a calculated effort to mix a ground attack with precise passes in order to reach the end zone, I can't help but wonder why exactly this sport is so popular. Don't get me wrong—I'm a fan of the game and I enjoy watching every weekend, but there are times when the game frustrates me.

Since it seems to be the hot topic of the week, I will begin with the issue of helmet-to-helmet hits. First of all, I disagree with the naming that term. Call it what it is: a headbutt. I don't care if you're wearing a helmet or not; launching oneself at an opposing player while leading with the head is a glorified headbutt. Rams and deer do this when they both want to mate with the same female. And now we have grown men doing this because another man is holding an oblong ball. Seems a little silly, don't you think? But that's the nature of the game, or at least it's what they tell us is the nature of the game. Players have been doing this for years and in doing so, they make it on the highlight reels. And now, just now, the NFL wants to put an end to it. And how do they plan on doing this? Through penalties and fines. Give me a break. On the college circuit, all of the Rutgers football program is looking on, waiting to see if one of its players will ever walk again, ever move his arms again, and an acceptable punishment for inflicting that pain is to move the ball backwards 45 feet? Really?

Of course, that's in college, so the player who put this poor kid in his current state can't be fined. I'll tell you what is going to happen to him, though. He's going to be drafted into the NFL because of his ability to deliver crippling hits. Is no one else bothered by that? Does it strike anyone as wrong that after the college bowl season when it's Mel Kiper's time to shine, he will have this kid listed as one of the top defenders in the country? Defender—that's a funny way of putting it. Hitting a person in a vulnerable position while he has no means of retaliation is not defense. People want to condemn the United States for invading Iraq unprovoked, but apparently holding a ball is enough to get a person paralyzed from the neck down. That makes sense.

Back to Mel Kiper for a second. How does one get a job like that? His sole purpose in life is to predict when young men will be drafted and by which team. That's all. Then the actual, non-mock-draft happens and he comments on how puzzled he is that players didn't go in the exact order he predicted. What the hell is the point? It's just more of this idiotic obsession with football. Why does ESPN show NFL Live year-round? Baseball Tonight gets a half hour during the baseball season. I'm not even sure NBA Shootaround is on every day during basketball season. People need to take a step back. Let football go back to being what is actually is—a game. I watch college football, but I am certainly not obsessed with where Jake Locker is going to play next season. I can recognize that he is probably the best quarterback in college right now. I don't need Mel Kiper to tell me that, and I certainly don't need to know in February who might draft him in April. Let things play out. The same goes for the four-hour pregame shows. Chris Berman and his team of retired players, while entertaining, do nothing for me. So you think the Cowboys are going to bounce back this week. Who cares? We'll find out when they play the game.

As for helmet-to-helmet hits, there is a simple fix. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but I heard Mike Ditka say it a few years back. Here's what you do to stop players from leading with their heads: take the face mask off of every player's helmet. I guarantee you James Harrison won't be so quick to smash his face against another player's helmet when it is sure to shatter his nose. What's the point of the face mask anyway? It is illegal to grab it, illegal to even put your hands on it, so why have it at all? I'm sure that a broken nose is better than a concussion, certainly better than paralysis. Good call, Coach. Maybe one day some of the NFL's higher-ups will listen to you. I did.